Boys Boys Boys 💙
Slugs and snails and puppy dogs tails..... that’s what little boys are made of! Or is it Testosterone?
Monday’s at PHP are very boy heavy, we have so many different characters and the majority are little boys. I love little boys, I love the mischief and the potty humour.
Steve Biddulph wrote a book called ‘Raising Boys’ and I cannot recommend it highly enough for an insight into how boys develop and why they do the things they do.
I have had countless conversations with mums who are run ragged (including myself when I’m talking myself down after a particularly harrowing day with my own boys!!) and wondering why on earth they need to push and shove and hit and snatch all the time. There is an answer, though not an excuse and I’m aware there is a very fine line.
At the ages of 3 months, 4 years, 5 years and 12 years boys have a surge of testosterone run through their bodies. This makes them ‘extra’ in pretty much everything. They are extra hyper, extra emotional, extra cheeky. These ages are average so it’s not an exact science. I firmly believe my own little one who is 3 is having one right now! All of a sudden, he’s just extra and for a few days I am baffled and then I remember he’s ‘having a surge’.
So, what can we do?! Not very much when you think about it scientifically. But, this is a time when children need consistency and firm boundaries. It is all too easy to dismiss unwanted behaviour as a surge in testosterone and therefore not correct it. Remy is generally fairly well behaved but if I allow the tempers at not being allowed another biscuit and the hitting his brother because he is sitting in the wrong chair then I’m sending him very confusing, mixed messages. It’s a time when these fiery little balls of energy need a big big cuddle, some reassurance and to know that while we understand why they are behaving the way they are, it’s still not always ok.
We also need to remind ourselves that they are normal, healthy, energetic and beautiful little boys who will grow up to be caring, sensitive, strong men.
I would like to say to all my PHP mummies of boys and all my friends and family who are mummies of boys..... you’re doing really well. We aren’t boys! We don’t get it! But we’re trying and that’s all they need.